American Idiot in Under Ten Minutes
by entwined-in-a-web
Summary: What happens when American Idiot is reduced to ten minutes? Part of my parody series. Probably will take you longer than 10 minutes...REVIEW PLEASE! First AI fic EVER!


**A/N: Alrighty! Hi! I'm Invisible Girl 12 with the alternating capital letters!**

**I'm new to the fandom and new to American Idiot. Haven't seen it…my friends did. They LOVED it and created a Michael Esper fanpage on Facebook…lol…**

**I'm a John Gallagher Jr. fangirl. Anyone else?**

**Thanks to Lizername for welcoming me into the fandom! **

**And I just realized I really like writing St. Jimmy…that is, if I have his character down…lol…**

**Some may seem OOC, but hey! I'm new! No flames, please? **

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own American Idiot or Spring Awakening or anything else mentioned!**

* * *

***The Eugene O'Neil Theatre***

Johnny: *bows* Thank you! Thank you very much!

Michael Mayer: Ok. New Show. Go.

Johnny: B-But what about all the success I've brought to Spring Awakening?

Michael Mayer: Too bad. Time for Green Day.

Johnny: Ok…

***Scene 1: Will's Basement***

All: GRRRR! ANGST!

Brian Charles Johnson: Moritz?

Johnny: Otto? What are you doing here?

Brian Charles Johnson: I'm a random nameless ensemble member here.

Johnny: Oh. I'm Johnny now.

Brian Charles Johnson: Oh.

Will: *pushes Brian out of the way* Move, ensemble person.

Johnny: Hi.

Will: Hi.

Tunny: HI!

Johnny:….

Will:…

Tunny: Sorry…

Will: So, we're all best friends.

Johnny: Ok!

Will: Shit…out of beer…Time to go to a 7-Eleven!Tunny: Guys…Our lives suck. WE'RE GOING NOWHERE! OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DOOOO?

Johnny: Dude, relax.

Tunny: Ok…

Heather: Oh look. You.

Will: How did you know we were at a 7-Eleven?

Heather: Pregnant woman senses.

Will: Oh…wait. WHAT?

Heather: Surprise…

Johnny: Look at this money I got from my mom!

Will: Cool.

Johnny, Tunny, and Will: ROAD TRIP!

Heather: *grabs Will by the ear* Not you…

Will: AW, C'MON!

Johnny and Tunny: *shrug* ROAD TRIP!

***Scene 2: Random City***

Tunny: Ooh…it's so…urban.

Johnny: *staring through apartment window with his tongue hanging out*

Tunny: uh….Johnny?

Johnny: Pretty girl…

Tunny: That's not creepy at all…

Johnny: I LOVE THE CITY!

Tunny: I don't…

Military Guy on a TV Ad: Hey you!

Tunny: Me?

Military Guy: Yeah you! Join the army!

Soldier in the Background: DON'T DO IT! THEY DON'T HAVE COOKIES!

Military Guy: *punches soldier* Ignore him. JOIN THE ARMY!

Tunny: *sigh* Our generation is a sad one because we are all influenced by the media. Television and rap songs and all that jazz…It seems as though it's telling us that all we need in life is lots of alcohol and lots of sex. But, to me, I think it means more than that.

Military Guy: Dude, enough with the monologue. Just sign up.

Tunny: Ok!

***Scene 3: Another Part of Random City***

Johnny: *sniffle* Tunny left me…

St. Jimmy: 'Sup bitch?

Johnny: Who are you?

St. Jimmy: Your more attractive, adventurous, sexy inner self.

Johnny: Oh. Ok!

St. Jimmy: So…let's go clubbing and get like super drunk and stoned. 'Kay?

Johnny: Well, since you're my inner self, I trust you!

St. Jimmy: This is way too easy…

***Scene 4: Jingletown/War Zone***

Heather: WILL! GO GET ME SOME WATERMELON!

Will: No…

Heather: WILL!

Will: GET IT YOURSELF! *sips beer* That's better…

*meanwhile*

*bomb goes off*

Tunny: HOLY SHIT!

Soldier: RUN!

Tunny: Wha-? *gets shot* FUCK! AND THERE WEREN'T EVEN ANY COOKIES!

***Scene 5: a Club in the Random City***

Johnny: WHEEEE! THIS IS SO AWESOME!

St. Jimmy: Told you so…

Whatsername: Whoa, dude…

Johnny: *drools*

Whatsername: Um…

Johnny: You're pretty…

St. Jimmy: No. Say something better. *intervenes* Damn girl! The back of your head is ridiculous!

Whatsername: Um…thanks…

Johnny: She talked to me!

St. Jimmy: Yeah…go get her, tiger…

Johnny: Let's go back to my place and-!

St. Jimmy: *intervening* Have really hot dirty passionate sex.

Johnny: But before we do that, let's-!

St. Jimmy: *intervening* Get super stoned.

Whatsername: Huh…that works! I'm-!

St. Jimmy: *intervening* Shhh…your spoiling the moment.

Whatsername: Oh. Ok!

***Scene 6: Jingletown***

Baby: *cries*

Heather: WILL! Can you get the baby?

Will: *mumbles while watching TV*

Heather: Will?

Will: Wha-?

Heather: *shuts off TV*

Will: Hey! I was watching Glee!

Heather: Well, you know what, Will? One. You HATE Glee. And two. I'm leaving because you suck as a parent and a boyfriend! *grabs baby and leaves*

Will: GOOD RIDDANCE! *gasps* KURT'S DAD IS GOING OUT WITH FINN'S MOM!

***Scene 7: Army Hospital***

Tunny: *loopy* War…bombs….BOOM….

Extraordinary Girl: Hi there! I'm just here to tend to your wounds.

Tunny: *smiles like an idiot*

*****dream sequence*****

Tunny: WHEEE!

Extraordinary Girl: Look at us! We're performing an aerial ballet!

Tunny: This reminds me of Billy Elliot!

Extraordinary Girl :No.

*****real life*****Tunny: *still smiling*

Extraordinary Girl: You ok?

Tunny: I love you….

***Scene 8: Somewhere in Random City/Army Hospital/Will's Basement***

St. Jimmy: So…how was your really hot dirty passionate sex?

Johnny: Shhh…she's sleeping…*smiles like an idiot* I love her…

St. Jimmy: *nearly chokes* Did you just speak that filth in my presence? Love? NO! You get a girl, use her for a night, then move on! It's not rocket science!

Johnny: Oh…

St. Jimmy: Yeah…

Johnny: Hmm…which do I love more…Drugs or…Whatsername…

St. Jimmy: *whistles the Jeopardy theme*

Johnny: I CAN'T PICK!

St. Jimmy: Do I have to do EVERYTHING around here?

Johnny: SPAZ ATTACK!

Whatsername: *waking up* What the hell?

Johnny: *pulls out knife* YOU'RE GONNA DIE BITCH!

Whatsername: *alarmed* What?

Johnny: *pulls knife to self* I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR!

Whatsername: *slaps him* GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!

Johnny: Thank you.

***meanwhile at Army Hospital***

Extraordinary Girl: *dressing wounds*

Tunny: *drools*

***At Will's basement***

Will: Sittin' on my couch…*pause* I'M SO ALONE!

***Scene 9: Random City/Army Hospital/Will's basement***

Johnny: I don't know what I want anymore, St. Jimmy…

St. Jimmy: Well, there's a solution for that.

Johnny: There is?

St. Jimmy: Yeah. Let's go to a club, get wasted and high, and bang few girls.

Johnny: I dunno…

St. Jimmy: Hey. You can trust me. I'm you.

Johnny: Ok! *writes note*

***later***

Whatsername: Hello? Johnny? Huh…*reads note* 'Dear…whatever your name is. I have chosen St. Jimmy over you. He is awesome. Bitch. I never liked you anyway.' *puts letter down* Oh my God, he's gay! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT! Men are such idiots!

Heather: Tell it, sister…

Whatsername: Guess I'm leaving! I'M GONE!

Johnny: WAAAAHHH!

St. Jimmy: Sissy…

Johnny: I want a better life…Maybe it'll be somewhere over the rainbow!

St. Jimmy: More like up your ass.

***meanwhile***

Tunny: There's no place like home!

***Meanwhile***

Will: I miss everything I lost…

***Scene 10: Random City/Will's Basement***

St. Jimmy: Ok, dude. You've been sulking for days. Get over her.

Johnny: SHE WAS THE ONLY WOMAN I EVER LOVED!

St. Jimmy: Yeah, whatever. There's a whole bunch more out there…just waiting to get laid and shit…

Johnny: No…I can't do it anymore! Goodbye, St. Jimmy!

St. Jimmy: Wait…no! You can't do that! That means I'll die!

Johnny: Well, I HOPE YOU HAD THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE!

St. Jimmy: DON'T SING THE CURTAIN CALL YET!

Johnny: Darn…

St. Jimmy: NOO! *poofs away*

Johnny: TODAY IS A NEW DAY!

***meanwhile***

Will: I'm all alone. So all alone. There is no one here beside me.

Heather: Oh! Hi Will!

Will: YOU CAME BACK…who's that guy?

Heather: My boyfriend. Billie Joe Armstrong.

Will: …

Heather: SEE YA!

Will: *sigh*

***Scene 11: 7-Eleven in Jingletown***

Will: Hey.

Johnny: Hey.

Tunny: HEY!

All: *hug*

Will: Heather left me…

Johnny: I sold my guitar to get here…

Tunny: I'm an amputee!

Will: Cool.

Tunny: This is the Extraordinary Girl. I don't know her name, but…yeah.

Heather: Why do I always run into you?

Will: Can I show my baby to my friends?

Heather: No. You're just gonna take pictures of it with a beer bottle in it's hand again.

Will: Nuh-uh! *takes baby* See?

Johnny and Tunny: Aww…Will, Jr.

Brian Charles Johnson: Hey look! Our old friends!

***Scene 12: One Year Later***

Johnny: *eye twitches*

Will: What?

Johnny: Walked in on Tunny and whatever his girl's name is having sex again…

Will: Eew.

Johnny: Huh…that reminds me…I wonder how Whatsername is?

Will: Who?

Johnny: Never mind…Maybe this'll be a new life!

St. Jimmy: Guess again, bitch.

Johnny: Or not…

**A/N: AWWW! *huggles St. Jimmy***

**St. Jimmy: GET. OFF. ME. CRAZED. BITCH.**

**NO!**

**Lol…**

**Reviews? How am I doing?**


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